Have you ever wondered why so many people are opposed to decisions made for God? I have heard so many negative comments about our decision to obey God. I refuse to allow the negative people to cloud my judgement, I refuse to let them bring me down to the miry pit. People in my life aren't supportive in general, but I am asking God to change that. Some people are amazing, and very supportive, and so loving to us. They are few and are very outnumbered, but to them I say this...
Thank you for the joy you are celebrating with us. I know there aren't enough words in our language to tell you how much I appreciate and love those of you who are happy for the children we will be bringing home someday. I cherish the ones who support us, for they are doing the work of God. I am praying for those who don't, because they are trying to stand in the way of His work. It has been a struggle for me knowing so many people who aren't in favor of adopting. There are many who judge and many who ridicule. I am praying that God changes their hearts.
Adoption is a most difficult thing to go through. It is hard to have so many strangers scrutinizing every area of your life. Homestudies, counseling, hundreds of questions, tons of paperwork, waiting, and well waiting. I didn't come from the best of circumstances in life, and rehashing all of that is emotionally draining to just think about. If you know someone who is adopting, try to be sensitive to what they are going through. Can you imagine if someone dropped a $30K to $40K bill in your lap and then told you that you had about 9 to 12 months to pay it? I promise you that the questions of "why would you do that?" aren't helpful. The statements of "I can't believe you would even consider that" are hurtful. When family and friends look at you like you have gone insane because you are bringing a child or a couple of children into your home that otherwise would live in a place you wouldn't even let your children walk into, it hurts! It seems to me that those people who feel that way are the REASON orphans die in far away lands, in dark corners, hungry, lonely, and unloved! God's plan for the orphans is YOU and ME! We are all adopted people, God adopted us into His family, are we better than God? Do these babies deserve any less than we do?
May I just ask this from those of you who are opposed to adopting... Please, if you are against it, if you are afraid of it, just please be careful of what you say to the people who are doing it. Please don't say such negative things to them, keep those opinions to yourself and then say them to God. Maybe He will soften your hearts.
One last thing, if you have a heart for adoption, yet you can't bring children into your home for whatever reason, would you please consider finding someone who is able to bring children home and fund them? God raises people up to be doers, and He raises people up to be funders, both get blessed in amazing ways, won't you consider giving an extra 10 or 20 bucks to those who are willing and able?
Thursday, April 28, 2011
Wednesday, April 27, 2011
Divine Appointment
I had a divine appointment with God on Monday night. There is no other way to put it. He wanted to meet with me, and I obeyed. It started with a feeling that I shouldn't go to bed. It was 11 P.M. and I knew I was supposed to do something, I just wasn't sure what. So I started to open some blogs I read about adopting and before I even got the address typed in I knew it was a book I was to read. So I went down to get the book "The Strength of Mercy" by Jan Beazely. What happened from the moment I started to read was God speaking to me.
About a quarter of the way through the book, I was marveling at how God spoke to Jan and how confident she was that it was God. See I have a tendency to worry about deceiving myself. When I "hear" (not audibly of course before you all think I have lost the little marbles I have left) God speaking to me, I often times worry that it wasn't God, it was my own ideas. I don't ever want to transfer my feelings and thoughts to God and "blame" him for my own thoughts. So to read of how confident Jan was that it was God speaking, I was immediately convicted that I needed to pray, so pray I did. I asked God to speak to me like that, and that I would *KNOW* it was Him. I also realized I needed a faith injection, so I asked for that too! Then I knew I needed to keep reading.
When I came to the part of the book (about half way through) where Heather, Jan's daughter, heard God speak and then started immediately obeying Him, I was blown away. I can't imagine what Jan and her husband were feeling! I was also so very humbled by Heather's faith. Suddenly, I found myself praying again. Asking for faith, asking for provision, and asking for clear and concise answers. I should add here that I have known for a long time that I would adopt someday. I just didn't realize that day was here. This is the least likely time in my life! I would speak of "if we adopt" and God was telling me "when you adopt". I can honestly tell you that the financial circumstances in our life right now are such that we aren't able to "afford" to do this. I was having trouble having faith that God would truly fund this. I mean come on, the cost is very close to a years salary for my husband!! We are moving. My husband is still an apprentice in the electrician's union and has 2 and a half more years! So in my mind, it just isn't the time. God told me that His timing is perfect... I went back to reading the book.
Again, I found myself praying. In the middle of the sentence I was reading, without any forethought, I started praying again. This time, I believe the Holy Spirit was praying words that I didn't know to pray. Romans 8 tells us this: 26 And the Holy Spirit helps us in our weakness. For example, we don’t know what God wants us to pray for. But the Holy Spirit prays for us with groanings that cannot be expressed in words. 27 And the Father who knows all hearts knows what the Spirit is saying, for the Spirit pleads for us believers in harmony with God’s own will. I prayed words that I almost felt I shouldn't pray! I asked that God would place us with people who would fund this adoption. I asked God to place us in a house that would be big enough to hold 5 children. I asked God that the people who had the money to afford the adoption, but couldn't bring a child into their home for some reason, would partner with us so that we could bring our children home. I basically asked God for a check for 30 to 40 thousand dollars... Now don't think I am going to feel that God didn't listen if he doesn't give me a check that size, but also don't think that I doubt His ability to do so!!! He is able, what is money to God?
I finished the book, it took me about 4 hours between reading and praying. My divine appointment was coming to an end. I had shed tears. I had conquered fears. I had grown in faith. I also had the answers from God. I went to bed feeling spent, but at peace. I didn't know that night for sure, I needed to process. I knew we were adopting and that God had a child, maybe 2, that He wants us to raise. I fell to sleep.
After processing with my husband, and thinking about all that transpired Monday night, I know for sure. I have a clear answer. God has placed our babies in the Congo. Maybe I should say God will place our babies in the Democratic Republic of the Congo. I don't know how long the process will take. I found myself praying on Monday night that God would give my babies someone who loves them and holds them, that He would give them food to eat, and clean water, and that He would protect them from harm until we have them in our arms. I hadn't brought myself that far, but God did. I am seeing a little girl in my head, I keep picturing her face, I can see a little boy. I don't know for sure what His plan is and when it will happen, but He is and I am patient. God is so good to me, to us.
About a quarter of the way through the book, I was marveling at how God spoke to Jan and how confident she was that it was God. See I have a tendency to worry about deceiving myself. When I "hear" (not audibly of course before you all think I have lost the little marbles I have left) God speaking to me, I often times worry that it wasn't God, it was my own ideas. I don't ever want to transfer my feelings and thoughts to God and "blame" him for my own thoughts. So to read of how confident Jan was that it was God speaking, I was immediately convicted that I needed to pray, so pray I did. I asked God to speak to me like that, and that I would *KNOW* it was Him. I also realized I needed a faith injection, so I asked for that too! Then I knew I needed to keep reading.
When I came to the part of the book (about half way through) where Heather, Jan's daughter, heard God speak and then started immediately obeying Him, I was blown away. I can't imagine what Jan and her husband were feeling! I was also so very humbled by Heather's faith. Suddenly, I found myself praying again. Asking for faith, asking for provision, and asking for clear and concise answers. I should add here that I have known for a long time that I would adopt someday. I just didn't realize that day was here. This is the least likely time in my life! I would speak of "if we adopt" and God was telling me "when you adopt". I can honestly tell you that the financial circumstances in our life right now are such that we aren't able to "afford" to do this. I was having trouble having faith that God would truly fund this. I mean come on, the cost is very close to a years salary for my husband!! We are moving. My husband is still an apprentice in the electrician's union and has 2 and a half more years! So in my mind, it just isn't the time. God told me that His timing is perfect... I went back to reading the book.
Again, I found myself praying. In the middle of the sentence I was reading, without any forethought, I started praying again. This time, I believe the Holy Spirit was praying words that I didn't know to pray. Romans 8 tells us this: 26 And the Holy Spirit helps us in our weakness. For example, we don’t know what God wants us to pray for. But the Holy Spirit prays for us with groanings that cannot be expressed in words. 27 And the Father who knows all hearts knows what the Spirit is saying, for the Spirit pleads for us believers in harmony with God’s own will. I prayed words that I almost felt I shouldn't pray! I asked that God would place us with people who would fund this adoption. I asked God to place us in a house that would be big enough to hold 5 children. I asked God that the people who had the money to afford the adoption, but couldn't bring a child into their home for some reason, would partner with us so that we could bring our children home. I basically asked God for a check for 30 to 40 thousand dollars... Now don't think I am going to feel that God didn't listen if he doesn't give me a check that size, but also don't think that I doubt His ability to do so!!! He is able, what is money to God?
I finished the book, it took me about 4 hours between reading and praying. My divine appointment was coming to an end. I had shed tears. I had conquered fears. I had grown in faith. I also had the answers from God. I went to bed feeling spent, but at peace. I didn't know that night for sure, I needed to process. I knew we were adopting and that God had a child, maybe 2, that He wants us to raise. I fell to sleep.
After processing with my husband, and thinking about all that transpired Monday night, I know for sure. I have a clear answer. God has placed our babies in the Congo. Maybe I should say God will place our babies in the Democratic Republic of the Congo. I don't know how long the process will take. I found myself praying on Monday night that God would give my babies someone who loves them and holds them, that He would give them food to eat, and clean water, and that He would protect them from harm until we have them in our arms. I hadn't brought myself that far, but God did. I am seeing a little girl in my head, I keep picturing her face, I can see a little boy. I don't know for sure what His plan is and when it will happen, but He is and I am patient. God is so good to me, to us.
Sunday, April 24, 2011
Now I lay me down to sleep
It seems that I am having trouble sleeping! So I have been praying my way through the night. I find myself praying for all of my children, my friends, our housing situation, my husband, but I am always returning to the question, "God, please make this happen if it is Your will. We want to follow Your wishes. Lord, we need a house big enough, and the funds for the adoption to happen." I find I am thinking every day of the sweet babies we will bring to our home. It is conversed about with our children daily. My oldest son and I were talking today about adopting, and he is so totally on board. How many 17 year old boys do you know who says, Mom, it is the right thing to do! He says, I am self centered, but not selfish, and I want you to do this. We are so immensely blessed as a family. We have 3 absolutely amazing children, who are all willing to bring home the least of these as a brother or a sister.
We are still praying about the country God is leading us to. We are pretty sure we know which it is, but I am always such an analyzer. Roland, my hubby, is always laughing at me about this. He says just go with it! You know that is what God is leading you too :) So as I lay me down to sleep tonight, I will pray that God will tell me that yes He is leading us to D. R. Congo. Why oh why do I always need a neon sign to believe what I feel is really from God and not from me? Will you join me as I pray tonight? Will you pray that we are led to the house that is big enough, and the country where our heart child(ren) is, and that God will provide the funding in an amazing way? I fully believe He will fund for us what He asks of us.
We are still praying about the country God is leading us to. We are pretty sure we know which it is, but I am always such an analyzer. Roland, my hubby, is always laughing at me about this. He says just go with it! You know that is what God is leading you too :) So as I lay me down to sleep tonight, I will pray that God will tell me that yes He is leading us to D. R. Congo. Why oh why do I always need a neon sign to believe what I feel is really from God and not from me? Will you join me as I pray tonight? Will you pray that we are led to the house that is big enough, and the country where our heart child(ren) is, and that God will provide the funding in an amazing way? I fully believe He will fund for us what He asks of us.
Saturday, April 23, 2011
My Heart
I have decided to blog about our decision to adopt. As I first started to think about adoption, I felt overwhelmed, fearful, and unworthy. I truly thought it was a "dream" or "idea" that would never really happen. I read an amazing book Radical: taking back your faith from the American Dream. This book opened my eyes to the complacency we have in our comforts. God grabbed my attention in a way I couldn't ignore. After praying about it, and "finding" adoption everywhere I look (yes literally! even doing simple google searches for something completely unrelated to adoption, adoption sites appeared), I believe that God is telling me to trust Him, be obedient to Him, and quit being complacent. So now, even though I am completely unworthy, I am trusting God and being obedient. I am beginning to get excited. I am still afraid! But then I remember Isaiah 43: 5-6 "Do not be afraid, for I am with you; I will bring your children from the east and gather you from the west. I will say to the north, ‘Give them up!’ and to the south, ‘Do not hold them back.’ Bring my sons from afar and my daughters from the ends of the earth" This journey is new to me and my husband. The joy to bring a new child or children into our home. I pray, Father I ask you to please, guide our paths, lead the way, clear any entanglements that may trip us up, protect us as we follow Your Word, protect the child You have chosen for us, but most of all Lord, Your will be done, not mine. In Jesus name I pray...
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